Show: A NIGHT OF ONE ACTS: CAUSE IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, B*TCH! ALL MY PLANTS ARE DEAD
Theater: Facetime Theatre
Theater Website: https://www.facetimetheatre.org/mainstage
Theater Phone: n/a
Start date of auditions: 07/27/2026
AUDITION NOTICE
Author/Director: Michael Roche | Producer: Katie McGrier
A NIGHT OF ONE ACTS:
CAUSE IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, B*TCH!
ALL MY PLANTS ARE DEAD
Written by Michael Roche
Auditions Dates/Times:
Monday, July 27 | 7:00-10:00
Tuesday, July 28 | 7:00-10:00
Audition Info:
Auditions will be held in 10 minute time slots. Please prepare:
1-3 minute monologue
Be prepared to do cold readings from the script
To audition, please email auditions.facetime@gmail.com with the following:
Your preferred audition date and time frame, if you have one
A Photo/Headshot and Resume, if available
Location:
400 Franklin Ave, Ste 109
Phoenixville, PA 19460
Rehearsals will generally be held on Mondays, Thursdays, and Sundays. You will not be called to every rehearsal.
Show Dates:
October 23 & 24 at 7:30pm; October 25 at 3:00pm
CAUSE IT’S MY BIRTHDAY, B*TCH!
Run time 60 minutes-ish
4 Characters (3 Male, 1 Female)
SYNOPSIS:
Andrew’s wish to happily celebrate his birthday is upended when his estranged brother Ryan re-enters his life like a tornado, asking to crash on his couch for a few days. As the two brothers communicate, it is unclear if Ryan really wants to make amends, or steal a valuable baseball that was given to Andrew from their grandmother. To add fuel to the fire, Andrew’s outspoken friend Jane has arrived, and Ryan has kidnapped a Delivery Guy.
CHARACTERS:
ANDREW: Male. Age can be anywhere from 20s to 50s. Energetic, positive energy, people-pleaser, and easily prone to anger with his brother. Wears sweatpants, t-shirt and a robe for the first half of the show, then changes to clothes more fitted for a birthday party. But everything he wears, no matter how shabby, is fashionable. Andrew takes pride in his appearance. Andrew is Ryan’s younger brother.
RYAN: Male. Age can be anywhere from 20s to 50s. Tired, angry, manipulative, charming. Wears a suit from a second-hand store, the tie is not on properly, disheveled. The suit could be too big or fits nicely, but Ryan wears the suit like someone at the ending of a wedding reception. Enters on a mission. Ryan is Andrew’s older brother.
DELIVERY GUY: Male. Age can be anywhere from 20s to 50s. A bit socially awkward. Looks at the glass half-full attitude, even when the glass is empty. (One day it will be filled.) Struggles economically, not academic smart, but street smart. When he gets over-excited/scared, he passes out (unconscious). Wears a t-shirt, a flannel or zip up jacket, jeans, sneakers.
JANE: Female. Age can be anywhere from 20s to 50s. Tough, funny, has a city-girl/dad was a cop mentality. Won’t take crap from anyone. Jane is a good friend to Andrew. Jane is coming to celebrate Andrew’s birthday, so she should be in festive clothes. However, nothing tight (clothes) as she should be able to easy move around the stage.
ALL MY PLANTS ARE DEAD
Run time 30 minutes-ish
4 Characters (2 Male, 2 Female, *Andrew is from the earlier play, but could be cast with a different actor for this production.)
This play is a dark comedy, with elements of sincere drama.
SYNOPSIS:
While apartment sitting for her stepbrother, Melanie reveals to her boyfriend (Tommy) that she is pregnant. Tommy is extremely excited, while Melanie informs him she doesn’t want to keep the baby. More friction is added as the neighbor Rae enters, requesting they be quieter, and then Andrew (who owns the apartment) comes home early from a trip.
CHARACTERS:
MELANIE: Female. Age late 20’s. She wears sweatpants and a tee-shirt as pajamas. Focusing on her career before she commits to starting a family, if she decides to. Tommy’s girlfriend. *Melanie must be likable and is happy, but in this scene she is frustrated and conflicted, but not angry. This character could be easily played as angry, but this character has hope, and feels trapped in an unfortunate situation. Andrew’s step-sister.
TOMMY: Male. Age late 20’s. He wears sweatpants and a tee-shirt as pajamas. Wants a family, and to be at the top of the household. Well intentioned, but short tempered and wants people to see the world through his eyes. Melanie’s boyfriend.
RAE: Female. Age 40/50’s. Motherly. Very matter of fact attitude, will tell it like she sees it, and appreciates gossip. She is a grandmother, and her daughter and granddaughter live with her (both unseen). Wears pajamas with a robe and slippers. Lives in the apartment beneath Melanie and Tommy.
ANDREW: Male. Age can be anywhere from 20s to 50s. Energetic, positive energy, people-pleaser, and easily prone to anger with his brother. Wears sweatpants, t-shirt and a robe for the first half of the show, then changes to clothes more fitted for a birthday party. But everything he wears, no matter how shabby, is fashionable. Andrew takes pride in his appearance. Melanie’s step- brother.
(This character is also in the play ‘Cause It’s My Birthday, B*tch!, & is older than Melanie.)
ALL ROLES ARE VOLUNTEER AND UNPAID.
